Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Mommy, Kylee's hogging the stripper pole again!

Does your young daughter love to dance? Is she a pretty girl but lacking in skills? Is it possible that due to her lack of wit, flawed ambition and horrible role models that she just might not make it out there in the big bad world?

Are you afraid she wont move out by age 16? Well put down your vodka bottle and order her the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Kit! This kit includes an 8.5-foot chrome pole, a "sexy dance garter," and play money for stuffing into said garter. You can buy it in the Toys & Games section of the Tesco website.

The only problem you'll have with this toy is figuring out who gets to use it first.
"Mommy, Kylee's hogging the stripper pole again!"

You might be thinking "My Suzie is too portly to be a dancer" but it's ok if little Suzie still has her baby fat because this toy also provides great exercise! We do however suggest taking up smoking as it is proven to aid in weight loss! So don't think that being a pole dancer is too big of a dream for your angel... Here at Tesco it is our goal to lighten your children's bleak futures with stage lights!

"Unleash the sex kitten inside ...
soon you'll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars."

Just so you know, this is a real toy and the above quote is an actual clip from it's ad! After many complaints from parents they decided to remove the Pole from their toy section but still sell them as a "fitness accessory."

A spokesman for the company said that the pole dancing kit was not sexually oriented and was clearly aimed at adults. Haha, Indeed! A stripper pole is in no way sexual and the name Peekaboo Pole with cartoon illustrations is in no way aimed at kids! Someone kick this man in the nuts and tell him it wasn't meant to be painful and you were clearly aiming for his knee.


Anonymous said...

i tried to comment earlier, but it didn't work. i think i said something like, "wow."

i wish toys like this were around when i was a youngster. i had to go to the nearest schoolyard tetherball pole to practice. lot of good it did, because i spent 7 years in college and still make less than a decent stripper (after taxes), i'm sure.

SpaceMonkey said...

but at least you'll always have your tetherball "skills."

Ashley said...

Well, I think every 6 year old in America should have one of these along with a "stripper Barbie"...I sure wish I had one of these:)