Saturday, August 9, 2008


Last week my boyfriend and I took my little monkey to the fair to see the BMX show and on the way out we stopped at the rides and games. Little monkey insisted on playing that game where you try and throw a ping-pong ball into a tiny fish bowl opening. If you win you receive one free goldfish! Woohoo! I thought he would end up disappointed because these games are nearly impossible but we actually won! My boyfriend (let's call him The Acorn King) tossed one from behind and won the fish with his amazing beer-pong skills . Devin thought he threw the winning ball which of course we went along with. He was so happy!

Here is a picture of happy monkey with cup-o-fish

He named his new pet Dobber. The most awesome fish name I’ve ever heard! Now of course Mr. Dobber came in a tiny plastic cup and I'd have to supply him with a bowl and some food. The next day while my son was away at his grandpa’s I went to the pet store to get the necessities. I wanted to keep it cheap but couldn't buy a small fish bowl because little monkey is only 3 and had already mentioned his desire to take his new friend for a walk.

I return home excited to put the new tank together only to find Dobber lying upside down at the bottom of his cup! What now? Little monkey was on his way home! Oh no! The Acorn King and I decide to rush to Walmart for a new fish. After finding a fish that looked close enough to Dobber I just happened to glance up to see the same tank set that I had just bought for 40$ for 26$!!! I could just kick myself, but instead I go crazy and fish slap the Walmart clerk with Dobber #2 and run away... Ok, that didn’t happen but I’m sure in Walmart it’s not rare to see a fish slap.

We make it home just in time to have everything set up for little monkey's return. He didn’t notice that it was a new fish and loved the tank. I sighed with relief! My first dead pet switch… Successful! I'm thinking this might get harder as the pets get larger though. So, what have I learned from this adventure?

1. Never trust a carnival fish to live longer than a day

2. A “free” fish costs around $85.

3. Apparently It’s fashionable to wear your pajamas to Walmart.

4. Fish are creepy! Think about it… they don’t speak, they breath water instead of air like awesome creatures, they’re not ticklish and they swim back and forth for hours staring at you with that look in their eyes like if they only had bigger brains and opposable thumbs they'd really fuck shit up.

5. Voting for me on Humor-Blogs is a nice thing to do.

Side note: It is said but not proven that voting for me will cure hangnails. You know those small loose strips of torn skin near the fingernail or toenail... Don't you hate those! Ouch! So why not vote for me by clicking that smiley below and maybe somehow mysteriously helping your skin.


Anonymous said...

>>My boyfriend (let's call him The Acorn King)

Would that be humor-blog incest? Ewww....

anyway, neat tale. Thanks

SpaceMonkey said...

A monkey and a squirrel, can you imagine the offspring? Our child would be called Sqonky.